Wild Bill McDonald

     In his younger years too many decades ago to count, before his career as an aging poet took off, Wild Bill McDonald was known by other aliases, including Mac “Boot-In-The-Wall” McDonald. That moniker was acquired while enlisted in the Air Force, due to an infamous event in 1969 at Sheppard Air Force Base, Texas, now known world-wide as “The Boot-In-The-Wall Incident.” (Not to be confused with “The Ox-Bow Incident,” or, for that matter, with Butch & Sundance’s “Hole-In-The-Wall” Gang.)
     A hole had mysteriously appeared one night in the wall of the barracks inhabited by Pararescue Class 70-3, obviously created by a thrown boot found at the scene of the crime. As no one would take responsibility at the time, the suspects were narrowed down to two airmen, McDonald being one of them. To this day there has been no official adjudication of guilt, and the mystery has only grown and acquired an ever-evolving life of its own over the decades. The true story of what really happened that fateful evening is no doubt long lost in the ancient mists of time, the truth hidden behind claims and counter-claims of innocence and guilt.
     A fine-art photographic portrait of McDonald also hangs in honored glory in the Wall of Fame section of 101 Bananas.

Occupy This

Occupy Wall Street, take over the park,
piss and whine in your tents, from morning ‘til dark.
“Give us a job, forgive us our loans,”
this is the gist of their bitches and moans.
“Oh my life is so hard, no one seems to share,”
well here‘s a dime loser, call someone who cares.
This gimme generation are not cowards all,
for they don‘t include those who‘ve answered the call.
So of today‘s youth, I surely exempt those
who defend our country, because they so chose.
Now these I look up to, Americans all,
who shed their blood to protect us all.
Now the anti-American Occupy crowd,
are nothing but ignorant, misguided and loud.
Of course the mainstream media‘s on their side,
which has caused in our country a major divide.
So set up your tents and crap on your city,
don‘t think you‘ll be getting America‘s pity.
I just don‘t get the entitlement mind;
our youthful values were of a different kind.
We worked long and played hard with American pride,
weren‘t looking for handouts or a free ride.
Occupy people seek pensions and perks,
yet they don‘t think it‘s fair that they have to work.
Diversity studies and liberal degrees
might fit the bill for those who hug trees,
and socialist courses from progressive trolls
won‘t get you on the employment rolls.
I‘m afraid that their parents made them this way,
with self esteem bull ‘stead of competitive play.
When I was a kid our folks stayed out of our sports,
our official uniforms were tee shirts and shorts.
We chose up sides and played all day,
no Facebook or Twitter to get in our way.
We didn‘t wear helmets, played hard by the rules,
we used common sense, ‘stead of acting like fools.
Of course when I grew up it was a different world,
when girls liked boys and boys liked girls.
When ladies were ladies and men were men,
course this is now and that was then.
Seems to me young folks today
have no clue of the American way.
“Don‘t make us work, don‘t want to save,
we want government‘s help from cradle to grave.”
Hell, when we were young it was the code of the West,
Gene and Roy taught us the best.
“Oh bail us out our inheritance we‘ve spent,
can‘t afford dope much less pay our rent.
We‘re Gen X punks, clueless and lax,
attack the successful, let them pay our tax.”
Some might think that we‘re goin‘ to hell,
for the country today seems but a shell
of what she was that I once knew,
when we were kids after World War two.
Sure life was hard yet we were sure
that with work and God‘s grace we wouldn‘t always be poor.
Our dads and uncles fought hard to survive,
that their Boom Generation could prosper and thrive.
And so it was through our Happy Days,
loving our country and freedom‘s ways.
But long since then I‘m sorry to say,
way too many have lost their way.
They riot in Oakland and burn our flag,
lefties and losers and commies in drag.
I say screw their agenda‘s socialist plot,
‘cause I think America‘s still got a shot.
It‘s time to “cowboy up” and get rid of the jerks
who want free tuition and welfare perks.
So pull down your ears ‘til you feel a sharp pain,
‘tis your head poppin‘ outta your ass, your intellectual gain.
Now you can walk on the left or tread on the right,
but your children‘s futures are clearly in sight.
Do you choose to work? Do you choose to slide?
For your kids will live with what you decide.
I‘ve walked on the left, but most on the right,
and of our country‘s divide I see no end in sight.
The way I see it, it‘s not them or me,
if our country survives it‘s gotta be we!
Now I‘m gettin‘ too old to give a shit,
don‘t really care if it‘s Gingrich or Mitt.
But this I do know, and it‘s truly a scare,
the economy could crash with Obamacare.
Left or right it doesn‘t mean a thing,
unless personal freedom and liberty ring.
So let‘s look in a mirror and refocus our goal,
and fight to restore America‘s soul.
Now if I had a beretta with commies down range,
I‘d send ‘em my version of “hope and change.”
For on such a mission I would not lag,
not if they‘d burned an American flag.
This is one great country to that I attest,
for most that I know are America‘s best.
But you Occupy nerds who don‘t have a clue,
go on vote for Obama and you‘ll get what‘s due.
Before I go, I‘ll get back on track,
talkin‘ ‘bout them that‘s got America‘s back.
For you spoiled brats who think life‘s so hard,
talk to the kids in Khandahar.
And for you trust-fund weenies who want our pity,
I hear there‘s jobs in Sadr City.
For these young heroes I‘m proud to say
are my hope and change for this country today.
So to all you protesters, your agenda is lame,
time to get off your ass and get in the game.
But if this advice you choose to dismiss,
then all I can say is “Occupy this!!!”